I'm jealous because
The water gets to touch your skin.
I'm jealous because
Björk gets to see your day begin.
I'm jealous because
The floor can take your weight.
I'm jealous because
Your mind knows the things you hate.

But I won't be jealous no more
If you let me touch your skin.
I won't be jealous no more
If you let me see your day begin.
I won't be jealous no more
If you can share some of your weight.
And I won't be jealous no more
If you tell me the things that you hate.

Written by Evelyn

18
Writer
Student
Free thinker

I'm feeling good. Kind of. Down to the last 3 days.

Going to see Mitra for the last time in a few months today. Ah well. I'm just happy we're parting on a good note.

I just can't wait for Sunday! That's when I'll finally finally finally be able to meet Rhys. After... 5 long months. Man.

It's really a dream come true, isn't it?

Hehe.



So I'm down to the last five days. Well, more or less.

I'm already starting to feel the nostalgia sweeping in. And it sucks bigtime.

I was walking on the street today, and listening to My Chemical Romance. And although I was trying real hard to focus on the music, I just kept thinking about things I'd miss. And I had to keep taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I think the people around me would've thought I was crazy.

It's a chore to keep from crying too. Especially when I see Crystal running around the house (or lying). And yea, it sucks to know that I won't be able to see her for a long period of time after Friday. Ah well.

I don't feel as sure as I'm supposed to. And it's starting to freak me out. What if something goes wrong? What if nothing works out right? What if... what if?

This sucks. I'd rather just bring Friday forward, have one big bawl at home before I leave, another at the airport, maybe one on the plane, and get it over with. Urgh! I don't want to be keeping in all these nonsense for five whole days. It's not any fun.

So yea, if I'm a little touchy these few days, please pardon me. I'm not in the best of moods.

Ah well. I just hope everything goes smoothly. I don't want to let some people down. Argh.

Now, there's tomorrow. Which'll probably be the last time I see Mitra for a couple of months. It's going to be tough saying goodbye. Oh well. I guess it's better it be in her house than at the airport. I don't even know what time her flight is on Thursday. She hasn't messaged me.

Maybe instead of swimming in the pool tomorrow, I'll be swimming in my own tears. Ha. Ha. Eff-ing ha.



Whoa... busy busy.

Suddenly, everything starts coming.

Pre-departure seminars tomorrow, two of them, one after the other. And then, dinner with my cousins and maybe a little window shopping. It's difficult for us to get together without our parents. But I'm pretty sure it'll be way fun. It was fun this evening. I laughed a whole lot of times. Haven't done that in ages. Hm. It's awesome to be so at ease with these people.

Alright, that'll be for Saturday. On Sunday, I'll be catching a movie, probably with Tian Boon and Frances, although Frances hasn't really confirmed yet. Tian Boon owes me a lot of stuff. Hm. Money, The Sims 2 (and all the other expansion packs) and a dinner treat. So yep, probably going to get them all on Sunday.

And then, on Monday, there's the date with Mitra and Sruj. We're probably going to go swimming at Mitra's condo, so yay! Haven't swam for ages. Gee. I hope I still remember how to float. Hehe. Kidding... of course I do. Psh. I love the water. Mm. I don't really like pool water though, sea water is so much better but ah well. It's too troublesome to go to the beach. Even though Singapore's surrounded by sea. Meh. It's bizarre, the excuses we find sometimes. Hehe.

Hm. I guess that's basically it. I've got a dental appointment on Tuesday morning, then I'll probably be meeting Tony to pass him his stuff toy in the evening. I wonder what it'll be like, seeing him again after so many months. Heh. Psh, I know he's reading this, but o well.

Then, rest on Wednesday and Thursday (or maybe there'll be more activities lined up, I've no clue) and then Friday! The big day! Yes! Oh lordy, I honestly can't wait.

I'll be seeing you...



It's a dreary, rainy Friday morning. Next week this day, I'll probably be too excited to eat. Or sleep. Hehe. I'd probably be run... no wait. I don't want to write my future down. Psh.

But yes, in other words, I can't wait!

Things are starting to smooth out. And yep, I can finally say I'll be seeing Rhys on the Sunday morning. Unless something drastic happens, which I'm pretty sure won't. So yea, fingers crossed! Oh lordy, I don't know what to wear... -insert string of curses here-



My dad just can't get things I say into his head. I swear. I was just raising my voice just now so I could make sure he heard everything I said. Because when I said it in my normal tone, he kept going "What?". So yea. And, this form I told him to fill up he didn't fill. And now, he's blaming me for not telling him to fill it up. Ok, well not blaming. But, he said he didn't fill it up and the blah. Nevermind, I'm not expecting anyone to understand my blabber now.

Oh fuck.

Everything's just so fucked up and I don't think there's any way to get rid of this stress. Yet.

I try writing, but I get so irritated by it too. There's this poem Rhys started, and I'm trying to continue it, but after the first 3 stanzas, everything which comes out just seems like shit. And, I don't know whether or not to end it at the 3 stanzas, or to continue on and try to work on it more. ARGH!

And Blogger's screwed up. Again. Yay! Oh holy yay!

Apparently, I can't type long posts or my "connection with Blogger" will be lost. This is so crap.



I was just by the post office today, and I had nothing to post. But, someone just bought something from me on eBay, so that means I've got to go down to the post office (not just any letterbox because its' a book) and post it. Great. Urgh! It pisses me off sometimes how things can be so uncoordinated.

And well, I promised a friend (or acquaintance, if you might) to draw an iris for his contest thing on dA. Haven't actually gotten down to it. Partially because of the move and I kinda forgot about it... and also because of my unwillingness to draw. I mean, yea, I doodle, but I don't like to draw. Because what comes out of my pen usually sucks.

But, gee, I promised the guy, and now I've got to carry it out. Or I'll probably have that ":\" face stuck in my mind everytime I see him on dAmn. Just great. I don't fucking need this. Me and my big fan fingers. I just had to say "I'll try!". Gosh, I can get so irritated with myself sometimes.

I went all the way to Ang Mo Kio today, to find some books from the library. Mainly for this online book club thingy I just joined. And couldn't find any of the two. It was horrible. I really wanted to read one of them. But ah well. And then, I felt bad when I got online because well, I had to tell Vanessa (the founder of the club) that I couldn't get my hands on the books. It was horrible.



Ok pardon the last post. I was ... just too... irritated. Which I am again, but that doesn't really matter much. I can't be bothered to waste my anger on her again. It's pointless. It keeps repeating itself and yea.

So... 10 more days. Hm.

But I'll probably only be able to meet up with Rhys on the 5 Feb. So make that... 13 days. Ah well.

If only I didn't have to go for that damned tour. I mean, why do I want to see penguins?! Like seriously... it's just... lame. And a waste of time.

Urgh.

And yes, as you can tell, I'm not in a very good mood again. Oh yay.



I shall watch you crumble one day.

Watch as you fall to your feet in despair and your cheeks strewn with bloody tears.

And you know what?

If let be, I won't help you.

No sirree. Why should I help someone who thinks she's so high and fucking mighty?

Give me a good reason.

Stand on your own two feet, because know what?

I won't be around to be your servant much more. I'm going to live my own life, and leave you to destroy yours.

Have fun.



No goodbyes.

Ready?

On your mark.

Get set.

GO!



Well I finally uploaded the Muse photos into Dropshots.

Muse

There it is. The latest 2 days. Heh. I don't know why it's separated into 2 days, but psh. As long as it's there.

So, Rhys is on his way to Melbourne now. I hope I'll still be able to see him online often. Or else I just might die. Hm.

But, then again, 14 more days to Melbourne!!! Oh lordy. That's less than half a month!

I can't wait!

Tomorrow I wake with you. Yes, I will.



Hm.

I guess dreams do come true afterall.



I feel absolutely horrible.

Urgh.

Did something really wrong last night, haven't been able to right it since. Kept me up till the wee hours of the morning, thankfully I was alone. Only had 4 hours of sleep or less, then had a bloody lecture in the morning by the person in the Management Office (Yes, I was in the new condo). Been carrying and moving and unpacking stuff. The whole place is a mess and so squeezy because we're moving from a landed house to a small condo. I've just woken up from an hour's sleep and I still feel horrible.

And now I'm supposed to go buy dinner from the same food court we had lunch at. I swear this place is seeming more and more dreary to me. I would like to get out of here quick. Thank goodness there're only 10+ more days.

Had a dream while I was asleep. A really really good dream. But, I don't think it's going to come true anytime soon. And I'm starting to hate myself for that.

I'm sorry.



MUSE WAS BADASS!

Yea, most of you probably read that on my nick already, but psh! They were awesome! I've got a few photos which I'll find a way to put in here. They're pretty big so yea. Or maybe I'll just forget about it since no one who reads my blog is a fan of Muse.

So anyway, I got a call from the principal of Medley Hall yesterday (or yester-yesterday) while queueing for Muse. And yea, she sounded really friendly and nice, and yea. I've got a place! Yay!! So I'll probably move in after the 12th Feb. And yep, can't wait to see the place!

Well then, did quite a lot of shifting today (yesterday), and I'm really really tired now. I've got a bruise on my right arm from the mosh pit at Muse's gig. It was horrible. I was in the second row right at the center, but when the gig started, everyone just surged forward and yea, basically I was squashed. Couldn't breathe and all, but Matt came to the front of the stage twice while I was still in the center. So I was reaching out and screaming like your typical fan. Lol. It was awesome! Wish I could've taken out my camera then, but couldn't. I couldn't really move much. Hm.

After awhile, I really couldn't breathe, and had to get the security guys to get me out of the mosh pit. So, I was at the side of the stage for half of the gig. At least I could breathe and take photos there, so it was fine.

Muse was awesome though. Really really good. I now know why they were the Best Live Band of 2006. I'm trying to get the bootleg of the whole gig but hm... since the connection's still a little unstable, I'll probably download it a couple of days later or something.

Basically, I'm just really sore and tired at the moment. So I might just take an early night since Rhys is being so mean. Urgh.



I'm fucking stressed at the moment. Nothing seems to be going right.

1) Farewell dinner is like... probably not going to come true. I don't know how many people are going. And it's fucking weird to ask people to come send you off, is it not? But, my close friends are all busy working and stuff. So, I can't possibly ask them can I? So to shit with it.

2) Bintan trip on Sat. Is it still on? Or is it off? Must I be the one organising it again?

3) Medley Hall still hasn't gotten back to me and I'm kind of starting to freak out. What if they haven't received the documents Miss Baljeet sent? Urgh! What if I don't get lodging?! Oh Christ... help me. Thank goodness Rhys would have an apartment by then. Well, hopefully.

4) I've received an email about the pre-departure briefing from Monash University but not University of Melbourne. Like what the hell is going on? Should I contact IDP? This is so frustrating.

5) I'm trying to make this CSS Journal for my dA account. And I was so proud of myself yesterday for actually getting it up. But, because my laptop is pretty small, it looks fine on mine. But not on others. And, its starting to look pretty plain. But, I don't have Photoshop 7.0, so almost every brush on dA I can't use. Shit bloody hell.

6) I actually agreed to take part in this tattoo design contest of someone on dA. Like how stupid am I!? I can't even draw, for goodness's sake. Me and my itchy fucking fingers. Just kill me now.

Yea, these may all seem like little itsy bits and stuff, but it means a whole fucking lot to me. And yea, I'm just really really mushed up now.

I think yesterday's mood swing's coming back with more vengeance. Oh lord.



Hm.

Amazing how mood swings can hit so badly.

Oh well.

I'm just hoping a shower'll kill this one off before it gets too serious.



I just finished watching Les Choristes.

And Jean-Baptiste Maunier is so hot. Well, he's the classy-hot kind. Not the sexy-hot. And oh man... I'm googling for his photos now. Meh. ><

It's pretty rare that I go crazy over an actor, but man.

Wish I could put a picture of him up here, but Blogger hates me. So I'm not even going to try.

But yea, Les Choristes is a good movie.



Good news.

I've found someone to go to the Muse concert with! Met her at the Muse message boards. So yay!

It's happening next Tuesday. Whee!



Well, got myself Imogen Heap's Speak for Yourself album. I really really wanted to get Explosion in the Sky (An awesome awesome instrumental band), but well Imogen Heap sounded better (if only by a bit). They were both the same price, 37 bucks. Urgh. I swear, Singapore's music industry should just die.

And... they had only one Valley of the Damned CD of Dragonforce. Urgh!

I wanted Inhuman Rampage, but there was nothing else. Damn. And the Valley of the Damned CD cost 51 bucks. Like what the hell?! I'm going to check it in iTunes store now to see how much it is there. And well, I might just buy it from there or something. I swear, HMV is a total rip-off. Or maybe its just Singapore's music stores.

Bloody hell.

But hey, Imogen Heap is in my hands! Whee!



Are you good, or are you bad?
Why do you always make me so mad?
Everytime I think you're an angel,
You humiliate me in front of people.
Oh, you make me so fucking mad.
Why must you be so fucking bad?

Should I or should I not hate you?

Sometimes I think it's a must to.



Hm. Time does fly by, doesn't it? When I first met you, it was back in August. And now, 5 months have passed.

Seems like such a short time.

So little done, yet so much felt. Interesting.



This woman. Is. Truly. Amazing.



I'm so going to get her album. Like tomorrow if I can find it in HMV. IT'D BETTER BE THERE! Or I'll seriously sue Singapore's music industry for being a prick.



Flicker.

You're there
staring at me.

Flicker.

The music of Death Cab filters through
covering the distance
which stands between us.

Flicker.

You're there again
smiling now.

Flicker.

My eye lids flutter
drooping lower.

Flicker.

Photos of you continue
playing beneath closed lids.

Flicker.

And I go to sleep
Knowing tomorrow I will
Wake with you.



The Banquet and Coyote Ugly in one afternoon/evening. Hm. Pretty weird combinaton, but worth watching again. Yes, I've watched both before, but watching them again (especially The Banquet) really got me to see some stuff I didn't really see before. Heh.

So yea, I basically spent the whole afternoon/night at Frances's place. Tian Boon, Andrew and me had lunch with her family at this prata place which had really yummy stuff. Then, we went back to her place and watched the movies. Andrew left after Coyote Ugly though, sad. Or else we would have another joker around. But ah well. It's ok. Tian Boon was still around. Lol.

Had dinner which was awesome, pizza and salad. Mmm. The pizza was awesome! Everything was cooked to the right degree. The crust was just crispy enough and the cheese was just melted enough and yea, you get the idea.

Tian Boon, Frances and I stayed around the table after dinner to talk for a bit. It was pretty fun, just talking. Hm. It's something we should do more often. Heh.

Today was fun. I would've stayed over if Frances and Tian Boon didn't have work the next day. Ah well. We might go to Bintan for a day trip sometime soon. Now that sounds awesome. ^^



Hm. I went shopping yesterday and bought 400 bucks worth of clothes. Whee! Am I a professional shopper or what? Hehe. Kidding. But, yea, they were really nice blouses, and I got this really nice casual dress.

And well, everything's sorted out, laid out and clear now. So yep, Rhys and I'll be giving it some time before delving back into a relationship. It's what both he and I need, and yes, we do respect each other. So hm, till Australia.

It's less than a month away. Oh lordy, I can't wait already!



Photos from the Photoshoot yesterday! Yay! I tried uploading them in Blogger but failed to. Urgh. Irritating thing.

So here they are:

Photoshoot

Enjoy!



Back. For good. Thank goodness.

I've missed you.

Yogata. Now, I'm really really happy.

Because you're smiling again.

I don't think I will ever
Grow bored of your smile.
I think I'll be able to
Spot it even from a mile.
But, come to think of it,
I haven't seen it in awhile.
So take a few photos
And make my wait worthwhile.



Sometimes I just can't take this nonsense anymore.

Hang the clothes later.
Feed Crystal.
Vacuum the floor.
Mop the floor.
Every day also watching TV and on the computer!

Do this.... do that...

Like gosh, and what do you tell her to do? NOTHING! I don't see her doing chores around the house. Fuck.

And you know, I do know how to organise my time?! So like... don't fucking mess it up for me!

And when I say I know, I fucking know k?! So just stop baby-ing me around, and then treating me like some grownup the next minute.

I know I need to return the DVDs by the 4th. And I know I'll be going to Heartland Mall later to return them. So stop telling me I need to! BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW!

And when I tell you in an irritated tone that I know because you keep telling me, then don't tell me not to speak to you like that. Because y'know what? It's not my fault!

I AM NOT A FUCKING CHILD ANYMORE DAMN IT!



RHYS IS ALIVE!

Not back yet, since he's still at Hannah's, but he's ALIVE! YES!

Omg... you cannot even start to imagine how relieved I am.

Yes, he's feeling pretty rotten but he is FINE.

Thank God, goodness, whatever.... X3

A perfect present for the new year. Thank you!

Now for the resolutions:

1) Give Rhys a big hug when I finally get to see him
2) Make sure Rhys is happy, yes, as a friend.
3) Get a scholarship for my second year at University of Melbourne
4) Keep in touch with all my close friends (Mitra, Sruj, Tian Boon)
5) Publish a book (Either at lulu.com because it's free or at some actual publisher)
6) Get myself into Medley Hall and then make lots of friends
7) Try to stay in the pink of health so I won't have to waste money on doctor bills
8) Learn to do house chores o.O
9) Try to make myself beautiful (with makeup, d'oh...)

I think that's about all for now. I'll try to think up more or something and add them on. ^^

Yes, I'm finally happy. Heh.



Thanks for calling, have fun.

And Rhys, I'm so going to get you when you get your ass back to Eden. If you ever do get your ass back to Eden. You'd better. Because I need to get someone's ass for this bloody misery.

I'm listening (not watching... there's nothing to watch, really) to the VivoCity celebrations, and I do think they're like just mouthing the words to the songs. I think they recorded it beforehand and yea... it looks so fake. Like seriously. Ew.

Not a good way to the start the new year, but psh. Whatever.



Happy new year! =)

Wish you were here with me...

Calista

Choo Qi

Claire

Jen Chong

Jia Min

Kerrie

Lindy

Mitra

Rhys

Rina

Rui Qi

Rui Shan

Shu Ying

Si Xuan/Stanley

Tracy

Yu Hua

Zephyr

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History

'December 2006'
'January 2007'
'February 2007'
'March 2007'
'April 2007'